Sunday message
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Message Summary
Opening a new series meant to help with relationships, Pastor Phillip Santillan starts not with practical tips but with who God is. The Scriptures are not primarily about us, he reminds the church; they reveal who God is and what he has done, and only in that light can we understand who we are. No one stops in the middle of an argument to ask who God is, he admits, but what if, before tension rises, we did? It would recenter our hearts and perspective.
Genesis 1:26 says God made man in his image, using a Hebrew word for humankind that later becomes the name Adam. So God is Creator, and he made us in his image. Why? The doctrine of the imago Dei holds that humans are the deepest expression of God’s glory and the greatest display of his power as the Creator who made all things good. Some listeners, Phil says, need to hear that as God’s creation they are good. Paul adds that we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works God prepared ahead of time (Ephesians 2:10). Plans of our own might impress others but leave us unable to say it is well with our souls.
The image of God, Phil stresses, is expressed in man and woman together, called to be fruitful, as theologians from Arminians to Calvinists agree, and great moves of God in church history have always included both. The culture assumes romantic relationships exist to meet our needs, and many church people treat marriage as the pinnacle of human relationships. That is a lie, Phil says: our relationship with God is the pinnacle. He shares a mentor’s warning that putting marriage on a pedestal makes it an idol, loaded with expectations it cannot bear, and that a single, celibate person can be whole and fulfill God’s purposes.
So God gives us a spouse to complement us, not complete us. In Genesis 2:18, God makes a helper corresponding to the man. The word helper is used throughout Scripture for God’s commitment to make up for what we cannot accomplish even at our best; Adam was not deficient, since God had called him good. Corresponding can mean standing opposite. Complementary colors sit opposite each other on the color wheel, yet make each other brighter, as in Vincent van Gogh’s paintings. When Phil and his wife were assessed as church planters, a counselor told them they were nothing alike, and explained how even their different weaknesses could let them accomplish together what neither could alone.
Phil closes with questions. For singles: would believing that God gives a spouse to complement rather than complete challenge standards shaped by insecurity about what you deserve, or a list of requirements driven by unchecked selfish desires? For married couples: what if you stopped expecting your spouse to fill a void only God can fill, sought first his kingdom, and saw your differences, even the ones that frustrate you, as the very things God uses to unite and sanctify you as partners in his will?