Sunday message · Parenting Fail series
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Message Summary
In the second message of the Parenting Fail series, Pastor Phillip Santillan turns to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6 to show that the gospel is good news in every season of life. He humorously walks through parenting’s stages, from first-child anxiety to middle school years that make parents doubt themselves. At some point every parent’s choices disappoint their kids, themselves and, most grievously, God. Even for non-parents, relationships are hard, because some things are in our control and some are not.
Jesus speaks to that in Matthew 6:25–34: do not worry about food or clothing, since worry cannot add a moment to your life; seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness; each day has enough trouble of its own. Anxiety, Phil says, always comes from wanting to control what we think is important. In verses 19–24, Jesus warns against storing up treasures on earth and says no one can serve two masters. There is a way to live with eternal significance, and a way that leaves us empty-handed.
Years ago, Phil and his wife took in a teenager he had mentored. Later, raising his own kids, he realized many of his parenting fails came from missing that lesson: caring for a child not his own was closer to God’s view of his role. Children are a heritage from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), and parenting fails come when we forget that they belong to God. Good parenting pursues what God wants to accomplish through us in his children, not what we want from them. Paul calls believers ambassadors for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20), people who carry their king’s message; the verse is not about parenting, Phil admits, but shows what being sent by God means. “God wants us to parent as ambassadors, not owners.”
That perspective changes where we find our identity. Owners define themselves by their role rather than their relationship with God through Jesus. Phil confesses he often falls short as a parent and carries guilt, but Paul reminded Timothy that if we are faithless, God remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). It also changes what we see as our work. Seen as storing up treasure in heaven, parenting is less about extracurricular activities than raising children who know who Jesus is through how we live and speak, since the lasting work is making disciples. Owners tend to treat children as trophies, believing the lie that who they are is defined by what they do.
How we parent matters, as does how anyone stewards what God entrusts to them. But God’s grace is just as great. Parents whose adult children choose their own way do not bear sole responsibility, because only God is sovereign and only his Spirit can lead a heart to him. Believing otherwise repeats the garden’s deception that our works can make us like God. The grace we teach our children is for us too. Phil closes with his prayer that all who follow Jesus would live as ambassadors of the gospel everywhere they go, every day they live, to everyone they meet.
